February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of dating violence and empowering teens to build healthy relationships.
Teen dating violence is more common than many people realize and it can be difficult for teens to identify when a relationship has become unhealthy. By learning to recognize the signs of dating violence and understanding where to turn for help, teens and their loved ones can take proactive steps toward safety, healing, and healthier relationships.
What is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors that one person uses to gain power and control over their dating partner. This can include emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse.
While we often think of domestic violence in the context of adult relationships, dating violence can also occur in teen relationships. Relationship violence can happen in any relationship, regardless of gender, age, or background, and often starts subtly before escalating over time.
Dating violence can take many forms in teen relationships, including:
Emotional abuse: Criticism, humiliation, manipulation, gaslighting, or making a partner feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Controlling behaviors: Monitoring social media, demanding access to passwords, isolating a partner from friends and family, or dictating what they wear or who they spend time with.
Physical abuse: Hitting, pushing, shoving, or using physical force to intimidate or cause harm.
Digital abuse: Sending threats over text or social media, demanding constant check-ins, pressuring a partner to send inappropriate photos, or sharing private photos with other people.
Controlling behaviors, manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation are all signs of a potentially unhealthy relationship.
Warning Signs of Relationship Abuse
Teen dating violence is especially difficult to recognize because many teens lack relationship experience, so they may not recognize unhealthy behaviors as warning signs of relationship abuse.
Many teens also don’t receive formal education about healthy relationships, boundaries, and emotional abuse. They may normalize or romanticize controlling behaviors, believing that jealousy or possessiveness is a sign of love.
Here are some warning signs that teens and their loved ones should look out for:
Extreme jealousy or possessiveness, like accusing a partner of cheating without reason
Putting a partner down, criticizing, or humiliating them
Gaslighting—making someone question their own reality or feel guilty for expressing concerns
Isolating a partner from friends, family, or social activities
Monitoring their phone, social media, or location without permission
Pressuring them to spend all their time together or making them feel guilty for wanting space
Hitting, pushing, shoving, or throwing objects during arguments
Making threats of harm toward the partner, themselves, or others
Yelling, screaming, or using intimidation to control the relationship
Demanding passwords or constant check-ins via text
Sending excessive messages and getting angry if there’s no immediate response
Pressuring a partner to send explicit photos or threatening to share private information with others
No one should feel unsafe or controlled in a relationship. Support and counseling can help teens recognize unhealthy patterns and build healthier connections.
How to Help a Teen Experiencing Dating Violence
If you suspect a teen in your life is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, your support can make a significant difference. Being a safe and supportive presence in their life can help them take important steps toward healing.
Create a safe, non-judgemental space
Let the teen know you’re there to listen without judgment or pressure. Avoid criticizing their partner, as this may make them defensive or less willing to share. Instead, focus on their feelings and experiences. Reassure them that what they’re going through is not their fault and that they deserve a healthy, respectful relationship.
Validate their feelings
Let them know their feelings are real and that emotional abuse, controlling behaviors, and manipulation are not normal or acceptable in a healthy relationship. If they express concerns about their relationship, take them seriously. Validation is key—many teens may struggle with feelings of guilt, confusion, or self-doubt.
Talk about what makes a healthy relationship
Many teens have limited experience with relationships, making it harder for them to recognize unhealthy dynamics. Talk to them about respect, trust, and boundaries, helping them understand what a healthy relationship should look like. If they believe possessiveness or extreme jealousy is a sign of love, gently challenge those ideas and introduce healthier relationship models.
Help them plan for safety
If the teen wants to leave their relationship, it’s important to help them do so safely. Ending an abusive relationship can be risky, especially if the partner has shown controlling or threatening behaviors. Encourage them to lean on trusted friends and adults for support.
Encourage professional support
Suggesting therapy can be a sensitive topic, so approach it with care. Let them know that counseling can help them process their experiences, regain confidence, and learn to set healthy boundaries. If they’re hesitant about therapy, encourage them to talk to a school counselor, teacher, or another trusted adult. Knowing they have options can make it easier for them to reach out when they’re ready.
Share resources
Providing helpful resources can empower a teen to take action when they’re ready. Many organizations offer confidential support, crisis intervention, and educational materials on teen dating violence. Some resources include:
Love Is Respect: A national organization offering education, support, and a 24/7 hotline for teens in abusive relationships. Call (866) 331-9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Provides confidential support and safety planning for those in abusive relationships. Call (800) 799-7233 or text “START” to 88788.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): Offers resources for those experiencing sexual abuse or coercion in relationships. Call (800) 656-HOPE.
Finding Therapy for Teens Near Me
Experiencing dating violence can be overwhelming and isolating, but help is available. No one should have to navigate an abusive relationship alone. Whether they need emotional support, guidance on setting boundaries, or help developing healthier relationships, professional therapy can provide a safe space to heal and rebuild confidence.
Our therapists are here to provide guidance, emotional support, and practical tools to help teens heal from unhealthy relationships and regain their confidence.
If you or someone you know is struggling with dating violence, don’t wait to seek help. Our therapy practice offers compassionate, confidential support for teens.
Reach out today to get started.